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The rules of cycling

SONY DSCI was pointed to the Velominati Rules of Cycling via a forum earlier today. I was expecting maybe ten or a dozen rules at most, but 92? Most of those I don’t agree with anyway so I decided to create my own set of cycling rules to live by.

  1. When touring, always leave space for carrying beer. Obviously!
  2. If you catch up and pass another cyclist, slow down a bit and at least say hello. Too many of the “all the gear, no idea” types now cluttering up our roads don’t understand this simple protocol.
  3. If you are wearing socks with cycling shorts they should be white ankle socks. Obviously!
  4. If you wear team issue kit, do not wear complete matching sets, you do not want to look like you’re pretending to be a pro. Wear stuff ‘cos it looks good. The Sky kit does NOT look good, the Mondrian inspired La Vie Claire kit from the 80s looks good, as does the Kelme green/white stripes, Peugeot’s checkerboard band on white and the Z jersey as worn by Greg Lemond, the only American winner of la Grande Boucle.
  5. Do not ride a bike that is designed to shave fractions of a second off a 1000m time if you can barely break evens on the local club 10.
  6. When riding up a hill and your companions are working hard, create the impression that you are finding it easy by taking a leisurely swig from your bottle on the steepest section.
  7. Learn how to completely strip and rebuild your bike, then if something goes wrong on a ride, the chances are you can fix it, or at least bodge something to get you home. As a corrolory to that, always carry tools/spares suitable for the distance and level of civilisation to be expected on the ride.
  8. Ride a suitable distance from the kerb, about 2 feet is reasonable.  It is safer to make cars slow down and have to actually overtake you than hug the kerb and allow drivers to squeeze by at 50-60 mph. Also when passing parked cars always assume that someone will open the door just as you pass and give yourself sufficient room as you go by.

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