I was pointed to the Velominati Rules of Cycling via a forum earlier today. I was expecting maybe ten or a dozen rules at most, but 92? Most of those I don’t agree with anyway so I decided to create my own set of cycling rules to live by.
- When touring, always leave space for carrying beer. Obviously!
- If you catch up and pass another cyclist, slow down a bit and at least say hello. Too many of the “all the gear, no idea” types now cluttering up our roads don’t understand this simple protocol.
- If you are wearing socks with cycling shorts they should be white ankle socks. Obviously!
- If you wear team issue kit, do not wear complete matching sets, you do not want to look like you’re pretending to be a pro. Wear stuff ‘cos it looks good. The Sky kit does NOT look good, the Mondrian inspired La Vie Claire kit from the 80s looks good, as does the Kelme green/white stripes, Peugeot’s checkerboard band on white and the Z jersey as worn by Greg Lemond, the only American winner of la Grande Boucle.
- Do not ride a bike that is designed to shave fractions of a second off a 1000m time if you can barely break evens on the local club 10.
- When riding up a hill and your companions are working hard, create the impression that you are finding it easy by taking a leisurely swig from your bottle on the steepest section.
- Learn how to completely strip and rebuild your bike, then if something goes wrong on a ride, the chances are you can fix it, or at least bodge something to get you home. As a corrolory to that, always carry tools/spares suitable for the distance and level of civilisation to be expected on the ride.
- Ride a suitable distance from the kerb, about 2 feet is reasonable. It is safer to make cars slow down and have to actually overtake you than hug the kerb and allow drivers to squeeze by at 50-60 mph. Also when passing parked cars always assume that someone will open the door just as you pass and give yourself sufficient room as you go by.
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